Bandit Therapist

As we open the month of October in Chicago, many long distance runners are eagerly anticipating the Chicago Marathon. I have run the race twice. Well, to indicate that I ran it as a “race” might imply that I had hopes of “winning”, so perhaps I am more accurate in calling the marathon a really long run of 26.2 miles, that I completed in, without question, one of the most awe inspiring cities, with the most energetic spectators. The marathon is, by some statistics I have come across, a distance that only 1% of the general population will ever attempt. That statistic to me might lead people who have never run a marathon to believe that it is a unique person who would or could run a marathon. I beg to differ with that assumption. Now, I am not minimizing the distance or the commitment it takes to train for and complete a full marathon. I will always have respect for the distance. It is daunting, it is a long time to be running, even for the faster paced runners and it does result in a lot of wear and tear on your body.

My bigger point is that we all have the mental and physical capacity to endure pain of body and mind and eventually cross the finish line, changed forever. In another way, we all can and do run “marathons”of life. They are often categorized differently though and don’t result in a obtaining a finisher’s medal or PR. But boy, I wish we did honor these challenges of life as much as we do running 26.2 miles.

I have the very privileged honor to facilitate and witness marathons and finish lines on a daily basis in my work. I see objectively adults who have sailed through life without much problem only to hit “the wall”. The wall is the point in the marathon when your tank is empty, your body hurts, and you want to cry, die or just lie down. I am not running the marathon this year but I will “bandit” and jump in around mile 18 to bring a group of women that I run with on a regular basis in to the finish line. I must clarify; these women are fully capable of completing that distance without my help. They are all well trained and conditioned for this race. My purpose will be to give encouragement, or stay silent, speed them up, or meet them at their pace, suggest a gel or tell them a joke. I cannot help but to see the parallels in my job as a therapist. Many times a client doesn’t need me to say anything, they want a witnessed, private cry, or a cursing session, or just to sit for a moment in silence, but not feel alone. Make no mistake, all of my clients are capable of “getting through” to their own finish lines, but gosh, as a runner and as someone who has also benefited from the services a therapist, I know for sure it is a whole lot easier to do it with the help of another.

Running a marathon changes you. There is no doubt about it. There is a shift in your belief system and what you think is impossible changes. I often reflect back to my clients that the issues they struggle with and eventually conquer will also change them and hopefully if they choose to gaze upon it in the right light, it will mirror back to them their own “finisher’s medal” and shorten up their own personal list of what is impossible.

Mary Jackson Lee, LCSW is a psychotherapist with a private practice in Wheaton, IL.

Click here to see Mary's practice website.